Mad World
by My Harlequin Romance
Summary: Kai Hiwatari's been seeing things. Ghosts he's never met before and ghosts of people he wants to forget. However, meeting a strange girl lets Kai open his eyes and see the world differently. Finished
1. Strenght of the world

_Okie dokie peeps, here's my new fanfiction. I don't own beyblade, any songs that are used or Tanya. She belonegs to Tanya Lorranie Hiwatari. _

_I sat and watched Donnie Darko again (Which you have got to check out), and this idea came to my head. If there is any mention of the film, me don't own. _

_I do own Jemma, who will be her demented herself once more.

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**Mad World**

_'My story starts the day they said, "She can't be found",  
The news so dark, heart stopped, I stood silent without a sound.  
It's over, she's finished,  
Mother lies with my father and sister too.'  
_**Avenged Sevenfold: Strenght of the world**

My story starts the day I was told my family were dead.

It's easier to being there, because it explains how I became dark and demented. One thing it doesn't explain, is _her_. But I'll come to that later.

My name is Kai Hiwatari. I grew up in Russia, in a normal house with a normal family. My Father Adrik, my mother Katarina and my sister Tanya. The only thing that wasn't normal about my family was the fact we were related to Voltaire Hiwatari.

Yes, the rich man of Biovolt. He who owns half of Russia.

However I don't wish to talk about him. He is not what the chapter is about. Where could I start? I guess I could tell you about my family. I can remember them so well, it's kind of hard to let them go.

My father, Adrik Hiwatari, owned a computer business. He hated his father, Voltaire, and wanted to do things on his own. The business wasn't that big, but it was well known and lots of people came. Business was good for my father. I loved my father, I really did. He firm but kind and no-one had a bad word to say about him.

My mother, Katarina Hiwatari, was the most beautiful woman ever. She had softe crimson eyes, and ebony black hair. She owned a florist, and was famous for her roses. She was the kindest woman we knew. Well she didn't need to yell at her children. We behaved ourselves.

My sister, Tanya Hiwatari, is possible the best sister I could ever wish for. She was well-mannered, held doors open for people and never spoke out of turn. We always had each other's back, and Tanya looked up to me some what. Tanya and me rarely fought. If I said we didn't, I would be lying.

I really loved my family, but they were taken from me.

I was coming home from school that day. Tanya was ill, so my mother and father took her to the doctors. My father asked if I wanted a lift that morning, but I refused. Walking was good for me anyway.

It all happened so fast! I rounded the corner to see police everywhere. I frowned as I carried on walking until I saw whoes house they were around. I ran, until a policeman had to hold me back. "What happened? Where's my family?" I yelled.

The police sat me down. "Son, there was a robbery. Your family was..." he trailed off, as two body bags were carried away. I knew straight away they were my mother and father.

"Where's my sister?" I screamed. The police looked back. Another one shook his head sadly. _They couldn't find her. She might still be alive! Tanya, please be okay._ I thought.

I was taken to live with my grandfather. He was the only family I had left. However, there were four other boys. Tala, Ian, Spencer and Bryan. Out of the four, only Tala was friendly. However, it didn't stop me from doing demented. I tried to hurt myself and other's around him, swearing that my family were still alive, that they'd come to fetch me soon.

They didn't come back.

In the end my grandfather had to send me to a therapist. She said I had daylight hallucination, put me on these pills that taste nasty and do nothing for me. My grandfather doesn't care. He doesn't care about my family. He doesn't care about anything!

I had to go to the funeral on my own, since my grandfather refused point blank about going. People talked about it, and it cast a dark impression on the company.

Something my grandfather lived to regret.

So now you know why I'm a little demented, a little crazy. I could explain about _her_ but it would be hard. I man, I tried to explain it to myself but it gave me a headache in the end. I guess she made me see that life is a little more important, and that everyting I do, no matter how small, effets something on a large scale.


	2. The Killing Moon

_Yellow peeps! Thanks to **Black Cat Red Phoenix**, **If I say I love you** and **KHiwatari's girl** for reviewing_

_Cookies for you! (Throws Cookies)

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_'Under blue moon I saw you,  
So soon you'll take me.  
Up in your arms,  
Too late to beg you or cancel it,  
Though I know it must be the killing time,  
Unwillingly mine.'  
_**Echo and the Bunnymen: The Killing Moon **

I've been a sleepwalker for as long as I can remember.

Well, since the day I was brought to live with my grandfather. He always told me that Tanya was never coming back, but I know deep down she's fine. She's somewhere, looking for me. I'm getting off track, I'm sorry.

It was on one of these sleepwalking nights, that I saw something no-one would believe. Some people said I have half-asleep, that it was just a trick of my mind. But I really did see my mother.

She was wearing this red dress. I'd seen her wear it before, at my sister's birthday party. It was her favourtie dress and my father's too.

I just stood there, in the hallway, watching my mother place roses in a vase. At first I thought she was really there, but when the moon light passed through her...

I can't being to tell you how much it hurt.

She looked up, making me freeze on the spot. Her smile that would comfort me through anything was on her lips, as if to say _Everything will be alright._ The next thing I know, she took my hand and led me back to my bedroom.

When I woke the next morning, I promised myself that wouldn't tell anyone about it.

* * *

"It was as though this plan had been with him all his life, pondered through the seasons, now in his fifteenth year crystallized with the pain of puberty." 

The english teacher, Miss Morice, bookmarked her page. "What is Graham Greene trying to tell us. Why did the children destory the house?" she asked. I snorted a little. Like I'd really give a damn about a story I read in under two hours last night.

The teacher's pet, Hillary, shot her hand up. Miss Morice nodded towards her. "They wanted to rob him." Hillary answered, with a wave of her wrist. I rolled my eyes.

"Hillary, if you had actually read the short story which at a huge 13 chapters would have kept you up all night, you know the children find a great deal of money. But they burn it." Miss Morice stated. Tyson leaned over and whispered _You suck_ in her ear. I kept my head down, knowing that she was going to ask me. She always did.

"Jemma, since you'e new here, why don't you give us your opinion." Miss Morice smiled. My eyes shot up. She didn't ask me? That's a first. I glanced to my left to see a strange face. I pride myself with the fact that I know almost everyone here. This girl, however, no name to the face.

She had dark blue hair, the tips were so dark they were almost black. Her hair was in two plaits, held with black ribbon, while her bangs were untidy. Her eyes were a very light, almost white, purple with a swirl of dark purple around the pupil. I can honestly say she looked good in the school uniform.

"Well destruction and creation are like two sides of a coin. To destroy something, you creat something new from the ashes. Destruction and created can not survive without each other. The children wanted to destory an older generation to make way for the new one." She answered. She spoke barely above a whisper, but everyone could clearly hear her words.

Miss Morice smiled again. "Kai, it seems you have a rival in the class." she joked, turning her attention to me. I snorted again, but stole a glance at the new girl.

She smiled back.

* * *

"Excuse me!" 

I carried on walking. I was a loner in this school, and I wasn't about to make friends. If it was Tala, and I highly doubt it, he know when to take a hint. "Excuse me!" they called again.

I stopped and glanced behind me. It was her. The petite little thing from my english class. Didn't she knew when to take a hint? She finally caught up with me, a tiny smile on her face. "What?" I asked.

"I didn't get to introduct myself in class. I'm Jemma Aeris Scott. I just moved here. May I know your name?" she greeted. There was something about her, something I couldn't understand.

"Kai Hiwatari." I replied gruffly, and carried on walking to a weeping willow tree. I don't mean to be rude, don't get me wrong. It's just easier to keep people away. You know, with me being demented and all.

"Please to meet you Kai. I was wondering, since I don't know anyone yet, could I hang round with you?" Jemma asked, catching up with me. I should of said no, but instead I found myself nodding my head. Dear lord, what's wrong with me? We sat under the weeping willow for sometime in silence.

"So, why'd you move here?" I asked. I mean, come on, this place isn't that great. Jemma twisted the hem of her skirt round her finger.

"My mom and dad spilt up. My dad had to get a restraining order against my mom." she looked at me dead in the eye. "She has emotional problems." Jemma added. My eyes widened slightly.

"Me too. What kind of problems does your mom have?" I inquired. Okay, not the best topic to form a friendship, but hey.

"She stabbed my dad in the chest four times. Almost killed him." Jemma sighed. I looked at the grass, wishing I hadn't brough this subject up. "The therapist says that's where my problems come from. The only thing my mother left for me to remember her by." Jemma chuckled.

It was clear to me, this was no normal girl.


	3. Start Today

_Thanks again to **If I say I love you** for review. I would give you a cookie but I've run out, oh well. (Throws sweets instead). I know Kai's kind of hard on the other guys, but this is a demented Kai.

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_'My room's a mess and I can't get dressed.  
I gotta be out by eight o'clock.  
Deep inside I know the answer.  
Well there's no time like the present,  
and I'd like to hang out but who doesn't?'  
_**Fall Out Boy: Start today**

I never actually bothered to clean my room.

Why? I mean, we're not allowed to have friends over. It's more like a boot camp then a home. I'd been lying on my bed since my alarm clock went off at half past five. I don't remember setting it that early.

Anyway downstairs the breakfast rush has begun. The other four will battle against eachother just for a slice of toast. I don't know how the cook copes with them. I have to be up and ready before eight, but that doesn't mean I have to go eat. I can't eat anything in the morning anyway. Makes me feel sick.

Speaking of which, I had yet to take my pills.

When that small pain out of the way, I continued to get dressed. "Boy! You'd better be up!" my grandfather roared. I rolled my eyes, straightening my tie.

"Yes grandfather!" I called. When I was sure that combing my hair wouldn't be helpful, I grabbed my bag and walked downstairs. I swear I saw my father, frowning over a large painting. I closed my eyes then reopened them.

He was gone.

* * *

I climbed into the back of the school limo. We take the same one everyday. It's just grandfather's way of saying we get the cheap ass limo. Bryan and Ian are already hooting at girls and commenting on them, as we made our way to school. 

Spencer. Dear Spencer. Quiet as a rock and just as helpful. He just sits there, his arms crossed over his chest. How he puts up with those two perverts I will never know. I guess if you like quiet company, he's the perfect friend.

Then there's Tala. Dear sweet red-head who I could strangle. He'll ask me that damned question. The only one he always asks on the way to school. "You taken your pills?"

There we go. Of course I bloody took them! See, I'm more chatty in my head. For Tala however, I just nodded my head and kept my eyes on the outside world. "You should talk more. Get something off you're chest." Tala pressed further. Gotta love his lame attempts at being friends.

I shook my head. I would have given anything just to walk to school, like I use to. Better then this stuffy tin can. "Leave him Tala. If he wants to be all doom and gloom let him. Not our problem." Bryan sneered. I glared at him. I glared hard.

"Bryan, knock it off." Spencer ordered, his voice was like a deep rumble. Bryan shrugged and looked out the window.

"Oh my god! Look at them Ian. Oh my god, I'm in heaven!" Bryan almost yelled, grabbing his smaller friend. I groaned and shook my head.

* * *

No sooner had the limo parked, then I pushed the door open. I would have run out, but it wasn't my style. Not out in the open at least. I began to wonder if Jemma was in, then began to wish she was. Oh god, what is wrong with me? I've never acted like this before. 

When I reached the school steps, I felt a small hand on my shoulder. "There you are. I was wondering if you were coming in at all." Jemma smiled. I raised an eyebrow.

"Hn."

Jemma twisted the hem of her shirt, her eyes sparkling for some un-known reason. This was not going to be good on my behalf. "I was wondering, since you know all about this place, you could show around russia tonight." she asked. I sighed, as we walkng to our lockers.

"Maybe. I've got to go to my therapist tonight." I muttered. Jemma looked slightly downcasted.

"Oh okay then. I guess I was a bit forward and all." she whispered. I slammed my locker shut. I kind of did have a soft spot for her. Maybe because she was like me, a little demented.

"My session finishes at four. I'll show you around after then, okay?" I asked. Jemma's bright smile appeared back on her face, as she nodded her head.

"When do you have to be in?" Jemma questioned, as we walked to our maths room. Funny how we have the same lessons.

"Three til four." Jemma stared at me in confusion.

"An hour? Hardly seems worth going in." she muttered, sitting by the window. I chuckled in my head, knowing full well she was right. Most people had that reaction.

"Yeah, I know. It was two hours, but because I've made such good progress it got knocked down to one. I couldn't care either way." I explained. Jemma giggled behind her hand.

She had a cute giggle.


	4. Motivation Proclamation

_'I'm un-artistic, un-realistic,  
You say I'm selfish and absurd.  
You try to change me,  
You try to save me,  
You say I'm gonna learn.'  
_**Good charlotte: Motivation Proclamation**

"How was school today?"

What am I? 12? My therapist, Doctor Livingstone, prides herself over the fact she's treating me. As long as she gets the big fat cheque from my grandfather, she doesn't really care about doing the job.

"Okay, I guess." I mumbled, staring at the ceiling. The Doc took a sip of her tea. Why does she always do that? One question then a sip of tea.

"I see you still draw." she mumbled. I nodded my head. "I will say this, you're not very good at it." she reminded me bitterly. The Doc has made it her job to tell me how much I suck at drawing. I'm un-artistic, according to her. Yet I carry on and draw.

"You tell me all the time." I muttered in reply, following a pattern on the ceiling.

"Made any new friends?" she inquired. Usually the answer would be the same, no. But today I had a little surprise for her. I slowly nodded my head. "Really?" The Doc asked, almost spitting her tea out.

"Yeah. Her name's Jemma." I replied. I really wanted this damn thing to be over. The Doc set the cup down on the glass coffee table, and stared at me.

"I can see you don't want to talk about her, and I'm fine with that." she began. That's a first. "I do want to learn about your family. This way I can piece together the life you once had." The Doc explained. I stared hard at her.

Out of the blue she wants to know about my family? I know why. She'll get enough information out of me, before telling to get over it. How can I get over it? I keep seeing my mother when I sleepwalk, I swear to god I saw my father this morning, and I don't know if my sister is dead or alive!

"Key word there: **had**. Now all I've got is a grandfather that doesn't give the time or day, and pills that neither taste nice or make me any better." I cooly shot back.

"You ungrateful little brat!" The Doc hissed. I raised an eyebrow. "You have a fortune waiting for you and you'll gladly throw it away for a crumby life you once had?" she asked, in a low hiss.

"Can I make any more sense? I want my old life back. I never wanted this life." I replied, knowing tears were going to fall. It's painful to think about them.

"You'll learn one day. You'll see when you lose everything. You're selfish and absured, I don't know how your grandfather puts up with you." The Doc almost yelled.

_He doesn't. That's the thing._ I thought sadly.

* * *

The russian air was greatly welcomed by me. That room was way to stuffy. I stoped at the mall, a place I rarely go in if I can help it, and sat on the wall. I reached for phone and began to call Jemma. This was not like me. I never called anyone, much less a girl, to hang round with me. 

When I told Jemma, she sounded happy, but really quiet. People say I'm like that. Minus th happy part.

Anyway, I'd only seen Jemma in her school uniform. I can say she looked good in jeans. I could tell her a mile away, as Jemma dodged passed people. She wour a red and black T-shirt, that appeared a little old. The colours were slightly faded. With it was a pair of jeans that had seen better days. They had a huge rip across the right knee and the bottoms were rolled up. On her left foot was a black and red sock and on the left was a fish net stocking. A pair of worn skater shoes finished the look.

Her dark blue hair was held up in two pigtails, and under her eyes was a thick line of eye-liner. Kind of funny how you notice the little things.

"Hey." she greeted, that small smile on her face. I had to ask her, It was just on the tip of my tongue.

"Are you always this quiet?" I asked, as I jumped from my perch of the cold wall. I guess sitting on a wall was a bad idea. Jemma looked at the ground then at me.

"Well I don't know this place well, plus with me being emotionally disturbed..." she trailed off with a cute little shrug of her shoulders. I chuckled in my head, and led her into the mall.

If only I knew that rumors would start no sooner Emily and Mariah caught sight of us that day.


	5. The hand that feeds

_'You're keeping in step,  
In the line.  
Got your chin held high and you feel just fine,  
Because you do,  
What you're told.  
But inside your heart it's black and it's hollow and it's cold!'  
_**Nine Inch Nails: The Hand that feeds**

"Guess what I've heard."

Let me just point out how I'm not remotely interested in the conversation. There we were. As in _We_, I mean myself, Tala, Ian, Bryan and Spencer. We were eating dinner in the grand dining room, at one end of a large table. Why does my grandfather even have a large table, when we're the only ones that use it?

"What Bryan?" Tala asked, with a small yawn.

"Kai's got a girlfriend!" Bryan yelled out suddenly. I froze. Oh god, no way! He can't be talking about Jemma. He couldn't be, could he? Tala chocked on his food, while Ian cheered me on. Spencer just sat there, which was worst then him actually saying anything.

"Kai? Is it true?" Tala asked, regaining himself. I shrugged, playing with my food. Tala looked at Bryan, who only nodded his head with that smug grin on his face. "Where did you hear that from?" the red head asked, as I pushed my dinner away from.

"Mariah and Emily. Said they saw Kai and the new girl round the mall." Bryan informed. I snorted.

"Like you can honestly trust them." I shot back, before the dining room doors burst open. We all stood up. Grandfather was usually late, but always had his dinner in his study. Guess he can't bear having dinner with us. Everyday, it's the same thing.

Grandfather walkes in, we stand straight, he dismisses us.

Of course, My grandfather will point out, I haven't been eating enough. I've lost my appetite so to speak. Grandfather frowned at my half eaten dinner, before flicking his wrist towards the door. We filed out in a line, not one of us out of step.

To be out of step would mean another beating.

* * *

I could hear them giggling. Not hard really, when they sound like they've been on the helium balloons. At first it sounded like they were behind me, but as I glanced over my shoulder, I found them by Jemma. 

"So, I hear you're going out with Kai." Mariah began, trying to keep a straight face. Jemma wasn't having any of it. I crept behind them, wanting to hear her own opinion and their's on me.

"So what if I am? Kai's the only person who's shown me some kindness while I've been here." she spoke her words softey and carefully. Emily frowned.

"Why do out with a freak like that? His little black heart can't take emotion." she spat. Inside, I frowned. Outside, I glared at the back of her head. Okay, I am one to admit my heart is black.

Black, Hollow and Cold.

Jemma turned to look at them. "Maybe. However you people don't give him the time or day to find that out, do you?" she smiled. Both Emily and Mariah sneered at her, before walking off. I swear their skirts get shorter a bit each day. Jemma sighed deeply as she watched them depart, before locking eyes on me.

"Hey Jem." I greeted with a small shrug. The rumors said I was going out with her, right?

"How long have you been standing there?" Jemma asked with a slight squeak. Was she afraid I'd heard her? If yes, then she's got nothing to worry about really.

"Long enough." I shrugged. The bell rang for next lesson. "Shall we get going?" I asked, as Jemma clutched her books a little tighter. She gave a small nod of her head.

As we dodged the on-slaught of students, my mind began to whirl. Ever since I started taking those pills, I've been thinking a lot more. Anyway, slightly off track.

I follow the rules for a reason. Most people think, because of my _problems_, I could easily get away with breaking the rules.

I can't.

Not with grandfather always looming over my shoulder. Any rules broke, he will diss out his own punishment. He owns half of russia, he's above the law.

Yeah and I'm Mary Queen of Scotts.

Despite all this, my little black heart just keeps on beating. The fact that it's too stubborn to stop beating, keeping me from my long-awaited death, is really ticking me off. Yeah, I can hear you all now. _Why don't you just take a gun and blow your brains out?_

Wanna know why?

I'm a coward. I openly admit it in my head, not out load. I am a coward. Don't stare at me as if I've grown another head. Everyone is a coward in their own right.

With a heavy sigh, I sat down for my art lesson. It find it really strange and funny that Jemma has been in everyone of my lessons so far. I can't help but glance over to her, as she sits there. She makes the school uniform look tasteful, unlike Mariah and Emily. Jemma across her arms over her chest, her head bowed slightly.

Reminded me of how I use to sit, before I began to lean back.


	6. Can't get my head around you

_Thanks to **KHwiatari's girl** for reviewing! Sweets for you! (Throws Sweets)

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_'Every single day, what you say  
Makes no sense to me.  
Letting you inside isn't right,  
Cause you'll mess with me.  
I never really know,  
What's really going on inside you,  
I can't get my head around you!'  
_**The Offspring: (Can't get my) Head around you **

She was impossible to figure out.

I know, I know! Jemma's only been here for a few days, but she changes everyday. I've seen her upset, I've seen her happy, I've seen her P.Oed beyond belief. I guess when she said she was emotional, she wasn't kidding.

I continued to draw my picture, before feeling eyes on me. I glanced to my right to see Jemma smiling at me. "What you drawing?" she inquired. I looked at her own piece of paper, before looking back at her.

"Nothing." I muttered. I turned back to my drawing. I've been told I'm rubbish at drawing, so am I really gonna show her my drawing? Another piece if paper was shoved under my nose. I gingerly took it, and looked it over.

It was of a man. He wour a brown monks robe, tied round his waist by a thick piece of rope. His hair, reaching a little past his ears, was pure white. His skin was like a ghosts and his eyes were pink with red pupils. He had a large set of white angel wings behind him, but the wings were bleeding.

"It's St. Silas." I glanced at Jemma.

"Who?" I asked, handing back the picture. Jemma smiled slightly.

"St. Silas. He's my family guardien angel. He's been linked with love and happiness to death and blood-shed. He's a special type of guardien because he's an albino." she explained. "What's you're picture of?" she asked. I sighed and decided to show her. How bad could it be? She'll only tell me is't rubbish.

"It's beautiful."

There we g...Hang on. "It's what?" I asked, staring at her. Jemma giggled and handed back my picture.

"It's beautiful. You're really good at drawing phoenixs." she replied. That was what my picture was, and what all my other pictures were. I've lways been interested in Phoenix's. Maybe because of the power they hold, or something like that. Each phoenix I draw has been called one thing: Dranzer.

"Everyone says I'm rubbish at drawing." I shrugged. I placed the picture back in my sketchpad, ready to pin up on my wall. Jemma frowned and shook her head.

"What appears ugly to one person, is beautiful to the next. It makes the world beautiful." she encouraged. I looked at her again before chuckling slightly.

* * *

I managed to get my picture up. Getting a tack in the wall is always hard. I managed to bruise my thumb once more. I tok a step backwards and looked the picture over. Jemma scrawled _What appears ugly to one person it beautiful to the next_ at the bottom, but it suited it. 

My bedroom door was knocked. "Master Kai, dinner will be ready in a few minutes." The butler called.

"Thanks Alfred." I replied. The servants really care about us boys. I think me more, because of my _problems_. I don't want to be dotted on, I'm doing alright by myself now.

Who am I kidding?

Before I left to dinner, I noticed another bit of writing. I climbed onto my bed and stared more closely at the writing. I thought I was going to have a heart-attack. **Tanya's okay now Kai**.

I knew that was Jemma's writing. I stared at the writing. She has just done a complete U-turn. When I thought I figured Jemma out, she throws me off track. How the hell did she know about Tanya? I never mentioned anything about my family to her. Too painful to do so. But...

That would mean Jemma never something about Tanya whereabouts. I knew I had to ask her tomorrow about it, but right now I had to go down to dinner.

All through dinner those words haunted me. Until grandfather burst in, his eyes smoldering with hate. Someone had done something wrong. I knew I hadn't done anything, but to grandfather I had.

And it had something to do with Jemma.


	7. Keep away

_'Twisting everything around that you say,  
Smack me in my mouth 200 times every other day.  
Rag me, I don't hear you anymore, not yet.  
Find out what it means to me, I don't know who you are!'  
_**Godsmack: Keep away**

"Boy!"

I glanced up to see grandfather pointing at me. Oh god, now what? "My office, now!" he roared, before storming off. I sighed and stood up. Ian began to snicker, to which I gave the famous Hiwatari death-stare, as it was known round school.

"What's so funny pip-squeak?" I hissed. Ian glared back at me.

"He knows." was the only answer I got, before I hurried towards grandfather's office. What he did know?

* * *

"You spineless excuse for a Hiwatari! We, Hiwataris, pride ourself with the fact we don't need emotion. I brought you up right and what do I hear? You have a girlfriend!" 

Ah yes, the girlfriend rumors. Grandfather has been ranting for a good couple of minutes, spraying spit everywhere. It turns out Ian and Bryan were talking about it. Grandfather caught wind of it, and questioned the two boys. The squealed like pigs.

I stopped listening to him some time ago.

"Love makes you weak boy! That's why your father is dead, because he loved that good-for-nothing wretch!"

Is he still at it? Love and fear are the deepest of human emotions, true that may be. And here is a man, nearly in his 60s, afraid of Love. Doesn't fit right? Anyway, he hates that I'm hanging round with a girl. He believes them to be weak. Here's another person I can't figure out.

Grandfather just won't shut up. Every so often, he'll slam his fist down on the desk. "Women are pathetic, worthless, weaklings! You have to be a strong to care on this role, or Gold help me I'll beat it into you!" Grandfather roared again.

"Don't you anyway?" I muttered, my eyes somewhere else. If only I kept my eyes on my grandfather. I'm not a fast learner.

**-SMACK!-**

I fell off the chair I had been sitting on, a throbbing pain on my hip. I looked up to see grandfather holding a belt. Not just any belt, the beating belt.

It's leather with a large brass buckle. Hurts like hell.

Before I had time to get away, grandfather brought the belt back down. It slammed into my back. I winced, but bite my tongue. I got managed to get up, but grandfather grabbed my hair. "And where do you think you're going?" he yelled, pulling me down.

Okay, this was the worst I had ever seen grandfather. He's been mad before, but never this P.Oed. I swear blood was running down my leg. as he continued to beat him. I had had enough.

"Anywhere but here!" I yelled, pushing him away from me. I ran out the room, pushing the doors open as hard as I could. My right leg was killing me, and my head was pounding. It surpised me how I could even see straight.

I pushed past a maid and Alfred the bulter. I yelled a sorry over my shoulder. I shoved Bryan and Ian out of the way, sending them to the wax coated floor. How I didn't slip over surprised me aswell. I yanked open the front door and was out in the cold night air.

* * *

How I ran, I didn't know. I ran all the way to some unknown park that had this huge pond in it. I stopped when my right leg couldn't cope any more, and I hit the floor. For the first time, I began to sob. 

Yes, Kai Hiwatari sobbed.

I wiped my tears away and lifted my trouser leg up. Blood was pouring from a cut on the side of knee cap. It stung like crazy, and I cursed. I was getting dizzy again, and I knew grandfather would have killed me, if I hadn't got out. The servants are gonna worry about me.

I couldn't go back. Not yet.

I glanced over the pond to see my mother. She smiled sadly at me, before beckoning me to follow her. I slowly stood up, and began to follow her. My steps were slow.

My mother kept looking back, worried for me. She stopped and was going to let me rest, but I shook my head. My mother wanted me to follow her in the dead of night, must have been important.


	8. MakeDamnSure

_Thank you **kaylfire** for reviewing

* * *

_

_'A long night spent with your most obvious weakness,  
You start shaking at the thought.  
You are everything I want,  
Because you are everything I'm not!'  
_**Taking Back Sunday: Makedamnsure**

My mother had led me all the way to a house. I swear I had seen the house before. Reeling back through mermories, I tried put the pieces together.

No such luck.

My mother waited on the doorstep, pleading with her eyes for me to follow. I didn't want to see my mother hurt, so I followed slowly. When I finally reached the doorstep, my mother was gone and I was left all alone. I gingerly knocked on the door and waited.

How the hell was I gonna explain myself?

_"Sorry to bother you but I ran away from my abusive grandfather and followed my dead mother here." _Nope, some how I don't think it will work. While I was trying to figure what to say, the door opened.

"Kai? What are you doing here?" I looked up to see Jemma. She wour a strapless red top, with a pair of black trousers that had a rainbow design on. I lost the will to talk. Jemma moved to the right. "Come on in. You look a fright." she whispered. I took slow steps in, leaving a small trail of blood on the floor.

"Kai..." Jemma trailed off, pointing to the blood. How could I explain it her? Jemma of all people! I couldn't. Instead I stared at the ground. The blue tiles in the hall were really interesting. Jemma frowned and led me to the kitchen.

* * *

"Kai, I'm being serious now. What happened?" 

Jemma wrung a cloth and started to clean the wound on my leg. I had shown the wound, but explaining what had happened, I had yet to do. Jemma glanced up at me, her eyes hard.

"My grandfather...beat me."I muttered meekly. The cloth wwas dropped into the bowl of water, where it made the water splash a little.

"What? Kai, tell me you're kidding!" she replied, her hands on her chest. I shook my head, looking away from her.

"I wish I was. He found out about the rumors about us. He beat me with a belt with a large brass buckle. I only managed to escape." I explained. I noticed how quiet it was. "Where's your father?" I questioned. Jemma, getting over the shock, began to dress me wound.

"He works nights. Are you going back?" she whispered, as I pulled my trouser leg down. I shook my head.

"Not tonight. My grandfather won't let me. I haven't got anywhere to go." I sighed. Jemma stood up, dusting her trousers down.

"You can stay here for tonight. Come on, I think there's a film on _Zone Horror_." she smiled. I followed her into the living room.

"Jem? Can I ask you something?" I began. Jemma looked over her shoulder, then gave me a quick nod. "How do you know Tanya?"

Jemma stopped in the hallway. "Tanya? I'm sorry, you've lost me there."

"On the picture I showed you in art, there was a message about my sister Tanya. I haven't seen Tanya in years and the message said she was okay. I know it was your writing. How do you know her?" I asked again. It was really bugging me. A small smile appeared on Jemma's face.

"I met her briefly. It's really hard to explain. Anyway she told me her name, and wanted me to tell you she's okay. Come on, the film's not gonna wait for us." she responded. The topic was dropped.

* * *

I was lying on my side, my back touching the back of the sofa. My arm was over Jemma's hip, as she lay infront of me. _Hellraiser 2_ continued to play. I know Jemma was asleep. 

I had long since been greeted by Jemma's little while kitten. Pansy was his name. Now he was fast asleep on the seat on the armchair.

I had lost interest in the film as I stared at the black of Jemma's head. She was my only damned weakness. I shivered. It seemed to scare me a little. I mean, I have never let anyone near me and in the space of a few days, Jemma was the closer person I had.

Now it really started to scare me.

Using my free hand, I rubbed my eyes. Jemma had become everything I want. The reason? She was everything I wasn't. Sure, she may be emotionally disturbed. But she smiled more. She was more happy. She was a happy-go-lucky type of person.

Me?

I was cold. I was cruel. I had a black, hollow, cold heart and I only cared about myself. That's all changed now.


	9. Suffocating under words of sorrow

_Thank you **If I say I love you**. Glad you hear you love it.

* * *

_

'_Her skin reflects behind a blur,  
I'm intoxicated.  
Where am I from, why am I here?  
You're so predictable.  
Fingers running through my hair,  
But it's all just fiction.  
She stripped down to her underwear,  
So beautiful!'  
_**Bullet for my valentine: Suffocating under words of sorrow**

I think it was the girl screaming on the T.V that woke Jemma up. Needless to say, she groaned from the pain in her neck. She sat up as I pulled my arm away. "I keep telling myself never sleep in the sofa. I never listen to myself." Jemma grumbled, rubbing her neck.

I stayed still. Jemma glanced over her shoulder and let a small smile creep on her face. It was soft smile, one that didn't mean pain was coming my way. "I'm off to bed. You coming?" she asked.

It was an innocent question, so stop looking at me like that. I shook my head. "I'm fine here." I lied. In truth, there was a pain creeping up on me too. Jemma shook her head, and stood up.

"Come on, I've got a spare room. You can bunk the night here if you want." I couldn't say no to that damn smile, so I stood up. "By the way, how did you get here? I thought you didn't know where I lived." Jemma added.

"I didn't. I…" I decided to tell her. Hey, I figured she'd at least kind of understand. "I followed my dead mother here." I answered. For the second time that night we stopped in the hall.

"I beg pardon?" she asked. I ran a hand through my hair, as Pansy crawled past my legs.

"I see things. My Therapist calls them Daylight Hallucinations. Every time I sleep walk I see my mother, and only recently I've been seeing my father." I explained. Jemma picked the little kitten up.

"I see. I guess your mother didn't want you to suffer further." She mumbled, before leading upstairs.

* * *

The spare bedroom was small, but it was alright. I glanced round, before looking back at Jemma. "I'll just be across the hall. I'll leave a note for my dad, but you won't know he's back. As quiet as a mouse." Jemma chuckled. I nodded. "Night kai." She added, as both Pansy and Jemma took off to her room. 

"Night." I whispered. I lay down on top of the sheets. In the night, her skin was like a blur to me. It's like being intoxicated, and I hardly know her. I groaned. What the hell was wrong with me?

I heard Jemma moved around slightly next door, as she set Pansy down. I wonder where the kitten sleeps. More shuffling and I knew she was getting ready for bed. I clamped my hands over my ears, because the thoughts in my head were getting too much.

I couldn't think like that about her. It's like I'm some obsessed killer, trying to get with a girl I hardly know.

I stared hard the ceiling in the dark, trying to figure out what to do tomorrow. I couldn't go back yet. Grandfather would only make things worst. I decided to bunk a day off school. Heck, Brooklyn does it all the time.

Where was I going to go? I figured I could go to only place that would give me peace.

My old home.

I turned onto my side and closed my eyes. Even though Jemma was next door, I tried to block it out. She was one damn weakness and I was intoxicated by her. If grandfather heard he would surely kill me!


	10. Realign

_'My fears come alive,  
In this place where I once died.  
Demons dreaming,  
Knowing I...I just needed to re-align.'  
_**Godsmack: Re-align**

I slipped out quietly the next morning. I think It was about half past five in the morning, but the fresh air would do me good I suppose. On my way out, I noticed how there was no sign of Jemma's father ever returning home. When she said he was as quiet as a mouse, she wasn't kidding.

Once outside, I figured he left his car in the garage. I wasn't about to check incase someone was looking. I can begin to imagen how bad that would look.

I walked down back to the park, my leg feeling slightly better. I never really told you the route to get to my old house. Well, at the end of the park I had been through, there's a fork in the road. Turn right, you go back to grandfather's house. No doubt the servants are worried sick about me. Turn left and you come to a winding street.

I glanced right for sometime, before walking left.

Passed the winding street, which had begun to fell like home again, you come to a cul-de-sac. At the very end is my old house. No-one had lived in there for years. I'm not sure why, but I've heard people say it's haunted. I walked up and felt around under the mat.

I know, I know. Over-done before. When I couldn't find the spare key under the mat, I moved a stone from it's place. Sure enough, there was the little brass key. Smiling a little, I picked it up and unlocked the door.

* * *

The house was cold and dark. I wonder how long it's been like this. 

All the pictures and things that belonged to my family were taken away, possibly placed in storage. I'll have to find out where. I'm glad that I use to live in one of the nicer places, well apart from the robbery. But now, when I look back at it, it seems so out of place.

I wondered into the living room. I could picture my father sitting on the armchair, going over a few items for the business. Tanya would be lying on the rug, doing her homework. I smiled faintly, and turned to the kitchen. I pushed open the door, and waited.

Waited for the smell of rose and food cooking.

It didn't come and I almost sobbed. Instead, I could see clearly my mother humming under her breath while she sorted out a few things. I would be sitting at the table, also doing my homework. Unlike my sister, I could sit in the living and do my homework.

_"Are you okay honey?"_

I froze.

**"Yes mom. I think I've got the hang on it now."

* * *

**

The house seemed to be alive with mermories. Alive, while I'm so dead. 

I had locked the door and placed the key back in it's hidding place. It was pretty sunny outside, so I lay down on the front lawn. I remember sitting the curb, as they brought my mother and father out. My heart broke. When they informed me Tanya was nowhere to be found, I died.

This is the place I died, and grandfather's home is where I'm buried.

Nice thoughts, ne?

"Kai! There you are!"

I sat up, watching Tala running towards me. He wasn't wearing his school uniform, so it must mean that grandfather called a search. How thoughtful(!)

"What?" I asked. Tala stopped and doubled over. I guess he had been running for sometime. After catching his breath, Tala stood up.

"Sir's sent us all out to find you. Where did you go buddy?" he questioned. I lay back down and stared at the sky. Why does he call me buddy at times?

"I'm not your buddy. As for where I went, I went to see someone." I muttered. Tala frowned slightly. I know just what he was thinking.

"You went to see that Jemma chick, didn't you? You sure you two ain't going out?" he inquired. I snapped. I don't know what it was, but something just snapped. I got up and glared hard at Tala.

"No, we're not. She's the only friend I've got in this forsaken place." I hissed. Tala crossed his arms over his chest and growled lowly.

"We're your friends Kai. Me, Spencer, Ian and Bryan. We've been trying to be your friends ever since you came here, but you just push us away." he snapped. My hands balled into fists.

"You don't know what it's like. You don't know what it's like to be so dead inside, while everyone tells you to get over it!" I yelled. My words hit Tala a little, but he recovered. He growled a little.

"Yeah, I guess you're right there Kai. I don't know what it's like to be as demented and crazy as you. I'm glad I'll never find that out. However, I do care about you as a friend. You have real friends at the mannor, so you don't need this Jemma chick to use and abuse you." He stated. I laughed.

It came out as a chuckle, before it was a full-blown laugh. Tala seemed a little frightened by it. "You don't know Jemma like I do." I hissed, before pushing past him. I decided the best thing to do as face the music.

Even if it might kill me this time.


	11. Rooftops

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! Loved you loads!

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_

_'Standing on the rooftop,  
Waiting till the bomb drops.  
This is all we've got now,  
Scream until your heart stops.  
Never gonna regret,  
Watching from sunset.  
Listen to your heartbeat,  
All the love that we've felt!'  
_**Lostprophets: Rooftops**

The first hit hurt like hell. The second hit stung. The third began to dull. Every other hit was nothing but a dull pain. No sooner had I walked in through the door, grandfather slammed his fist against my face. I stumbled back and hit the wall. There's a nice black bruise on my back now where the bolt of the front door made contact.

Grandfather was relentless. He only stopped to abuse me verbally. I stopped listening and stopped feeling he pain. In the end Grandfather wour himself out. He got his lackey, Boris, to drag me to my room and lock me in. For two days I was confide to my bedroom, with nothing to eat or drink.

That's what he thought.

Some of the servants had helped me store food supplies and bottles of water. I told you they worry about me.

As time during those two days went on, I was visited by my mother and my father. I asked them where Tanya was, but they never told me. I remember begging them to tell me, but my father just shook his head. I guess they didn't know either.

Out of the blue, after my lunch on the second day, one of the servants and Alfred opened my door. "Where's grandfather?" I asked, slowly standing up. Alfred aging eyes seemed to narrow at the name.

"Business trip. Both him and Master Boris are gone. They won't be back for sometime." Alfred informed. The reason for letting em out was clear enough.

"I'm going to get some fresh air." I mumbled, giving them a small thanks for letting me out.

* * *

I came to a stop at a warehouse. It was kind of old, and had a impressive collection of rats but thata didn't really bother me. I mean, the only time I went there was to sit on the roof and watch the water lapping at the dock. A figure moved slightly on the roof. 

Seems like I'm not the only one.

I walked inside the warehouse and carefully climbed the old iron stairs. They creek a little, so I'm just waiting fro the day they break.

It was good to get to the roof. The warehouse was getting stuffy as years went by, so sitting on the roof was welcoming. I pushed open the small window at the top, where it banged against the roof with a thump. The figure jumped. "Whoes there?" they demanded.

I know that voice! "It's me." I replied, climbing onto the roof. Jemma relaxed a little, before turning back to the dock. "Didn't know you came up here." I muttered, sitting next to her. Jemma shrugged a little and I could tell she was upset.

"My mother phoned this morning." she grumbled. A small _oh_ escaped my lips and I glanced over her outfit. A black T-shirt with a green _Superman_ logo, and black trousers with a grin lining. "What about you? I never saw you at school." she asked suddenly.

"Got home and ended up being beaten again. My grandfather locked me in my room for two days. Thank god it Friday." I replied, watching the sunset. Jemma shook her head, cursing under her breath.

"He's sick. No human should be put through that kind of treatment. He's as bad as Hilter." she hissed. I chuckled a little.

"I guess. I get use to it after a bit." I answered. Jemma stared at me for a bit, before looking back at the sky.

"I love the sunset. I wouldn't regret wanting every sunset." she whispered, closing her eyes. I looked over to her and smiled slightly.

"You wouldn't find if the sky fell right now." I grinned, before lying on my back. "In fact you'd find it beautiful." I added. Jemma smiled and drew her legs up to her chest.

"I would. Did you know everything you do in life, effects things on a larger scale?" she asked suddenly. I opened one eyes and stared hard at her.

"I didn't know that. And why do I have the feeling you're about to explain it all to me." I grumbled. Jemma chuckled behind her hand.


	12. Crazy for this girl

_Thanks to **KHiwatari's girl** for reviewing!

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_

_'Would you look at her,  
She looks at me.  
She's got me thinking about her constantly,  
But she doesn't know I feel.  
And she carries on without a doubt,  
I wonder if she's figured out,  
I'm crazy for this girl!'  
_**Evan and Jaron: Crazy for this girl  
**

Monday, I was asked countless times where I was Thursday and Friday. I lied and said I was ill. I've been getting good at lying recently. Tala refused to say anything on the matter, but Ian and Bryan like to tease me about it. Spencer hasn't said a thing. No surprise there. They haven't stopped teasing me over Jemma, but I couldn't give a damn about them.

I had listen to her explain all about her theory. She told me it wasn't a theory, but I remained skeptical. Jemma explain how everything you do in life effects things on a much larger scale. Me meeting Jemma changed the fact that I'm not a loner anymore. That's going to effect something.

We sat in english, writing up on that story we're doing. I couldn't remember the name of it, even if I tried. The teacher got called away, so the class slipped into chaos. Paperballs flew, along with with paper planes. I glanced over to Jemma, as she continued to write.

She doesn't have a clue.

Or maybe, she just doesn't want to say. Ever since I met her, she's been on my mind. Maybe the rumors are true. Maybe she is my girlfriend, none of us know it yet. Jemma just carried on writing, without a single doubt. That's it, I've lost my mind more then ever.

Jemma smiled at me, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She quickly wrote on a piece of paper, and passed it to me.

**'I saw Tanya again. She's mad at you for worrying. She said stop worrying about her, because she's fine.'**

I stared at the paper. This only confirms what I thought all along. My sister is alive. Trouble was I had no idea where my little sister was. I wrote a reply and handed it back.

_'I can't help but worry though. Where is she now?' _

I watched Jemma frown slightly. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. I was surprised when Jemma wrote a reply back, and tossed the piece of paper back to me. I frowned aswell, as the chaos continued round us.

**'I can't tell you. Tanya didn't want you to know because something bad might happen. I'm sorry Kai.'

* * *

**

Outside, the topic over my sister was never mentioned again. If Tanya didn't want me to find her, then I really should respect her wishes. We walked down the steps of school, and made our way to the weeping willow. I kept my eyes to the ground, when I felt a hand slip into mine. 

I glanced down to see Red and Black painted nails. Could only be one person.

I looked over to Jemma who was smiling at me. Okay she made the first move, I'll make the second. I lent foreward and crushed my lips against hers, taking her by the surprise. In the back of my mind, I could hear something Tanya had told me once.

_'You'll never fall in love Kai-kun, if you don't risk it all.' _

One of the students gasped loudly, I think it was Emily. I broke away from Jemma, who was smiling again. We carried on walking towards the weeping willow as everyone carried on talking about the event.

I'll risk the beatings for her. I'll risk everything, just like Tanya said, for Jemma.


	13. I've got a dark ally

_Thanks to **If I say I love you** and **suzieK.** Cookies for you!

* * *

_

_'Please out the doctor on the phone because  
I'm not making any sense.  
Blaming everyone but me,  
For this mess!'  
_**Fall Out Boy: I've got a dark ally and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth **

It was getting worst!

Okay I admit. I hadn't been taking my pills for a few days now. Come on, they do nothing for me as it is. Not to mention they taste awful.

So I decided not to take them for a few days. How stupid I am! All of a sudden, I kept seeing things that weren't there. I saw my mother, father, an old friend. Everyone in my old life was there. I hadn't come out of my room for dinner, and Alfred was worried. When he went to check on me, he found me slamming my head against my bedroom wall.

I smacked my head so hard, before Alfred managed to stop me, I knocked myself out.

* * *

Alfred paniced as Kai hit the floor in a faint. He gingerly picked up the young master and placed him on the bed. The old butler had no idea who to turn to when a two numbers caught his eye.

Picking up the piece of paper, Alfred smiled and walked quickly downstairs. The first number he dailed was The doctor's. At first she didn't want to help Kai, but when Alfred said she would be paid more for saving his life, she jumped at the chance. As Alfred placed the phone down, he sighed. He never liked that doctor. He dailed the second number.

The second person, Alfred liked the sound of. Jemma sounded more worried about Kai then his own doctor. Jemma told him she would be there as soon as she could, before hanging up. Alfred sighed, replacing the phone into the cradle.

"Hey Al?"

Alfred winced at his nickname, but turned to face the person. "Yes Master Ian?" he asked. Ian's hands were shoved in his pockets and his face held a questioning look.

"What's up with Kai?" he asked. Alfred paused. How was he going to explain to the other boys? The old butler decided to lie a little. After all he knew Kai wouldn't want them to jeer at him.

"Master Kai just fainted that's all Master Ian. I've sent for his doctor, just to make sure he's okay."he lied. Ian nodded his head slowly.

"Wouldn't have anything to do with him not taking his pills I guess." The smaller boy shrugged and took off. Alfred walked him leave, a heavy feeling in his stomach.

_Master Kai...Why did you stop taking the pills?_ he wondered, as the door bell rang.

* * *

When I came round, I found Jemma staring at me. "Jem? Why are you here?" I questioned, before wincing. My head was killing me! Jemma tried to stop herself from hugging me. I guess she didn't want to hurt me.

"Oh Kai! You had all of us worried. Alfred said he found you slamming your head against the wall. You hit yourself so hard, you knocked yourself out." she cried. So that's why my head hurt.

"You haven't been taking your pills, have you?" My doctor glared me, holding the half empty bottle. I shrugged. So, who ratted me out this time? "You could have caused yourself some real harm Kai." she scolded. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Maybe if you gave some pills that actually worked, then maybe I would take them." I shot back. The Doctor raised her hand as if to hit me, but I knew she wouldn't. Not only was Jemma with me, but Alfred and some of the maids were outside my bedroom watching the scene.

"Fine." The doctor spat, lowering her hand. "I'll give you something that will work for you. I want to be paid more for this." The doctor replied, pushing passed Alfred.

"You'll have to wait for your payment. Master Voltaire and Master Boris are in American and won't be back for 2 months at least." Alfred informed. The Doctor huffed and left, slamming the front door behind her.


	14. Welcome to my life

_Once again thanks to **KHiwatari's girl** for reviewing

* * *

_

_'To be hurt,  
To feel lost,  
To be left out in the dark.  
To be kicked when you're down.  
To feel like you've been pushed around,  
To be on the edge of breaking down,  
and no-one's there to save you.  
No you don't know what's like,  
Welcome to my life.'  
_**Simple Plan: Welcome to my life  
**

Because of what I done to myself, I wasn't allowed back at school for sometime. Jemma had offered to get my homework for me, and fill me on anything new going on. Any chance to see her again, brought a smile to my face. The others were too busy with other things to annoy us.

However, after dinner and when Jemma had left, Tala decided he wanted to have a little talk with me. Whoopie(!)

"You okay now?" he asked, closing my bedroom door behind him. He sat down on the chair, Jemma had been sitting some time before. I turned my eyes to my homework and nodded my head.

"Why did you do it?" I stared at him. And why does he want to know? I swear everyone is interested in my life, becasue I'm demented. Nothing exciting happens to them, so they turn to me for a quick giggle. I'm really getting sick of this. Tala stared back. "Come on Kai, we've friends." he added in a pleading tone.

"No, we're not." I answered back and turned to my work. Okay, so the only reason we weren't friends was because I never let him near me. He's perfectly sane just like Bryan, Ian and Spencer. What am I? Demented little gothic freak.

"Kai, I tried to be friends with you. But you keep pushing me away. How the hell did that little wretch become your friend?" Tala hissed. I amazed myself when I grabbed hold of his throat. Tala's ice blue eyes widened.

"Don't dare you talk about Jemma like that! You don't know jack about her." I spat. Tala numbly nodded his head, to which I let go. I settled back down under my covers, as Tala rubbed his neck.

"I'm sorry Kai. I guess you're right, we don't know a lot about Jemma. You, however, do. If you don't want us to take the mickey out of you two, you've going to have to tell me about her." Tala pointed out. A page of my maths book was turned.

"Like it would help." I snorted. Tala's hands balled into fists, but he tried to keep calm. He stared at mme with pleading eyes, anything to get me to open up. I snorted again and shook my head. Tala's jaw tightened.

"Kai..." he said my name lowly as if to warn me. I glanced at him.

"Listen Tala, you may think that you know everything about me but you don't. You don't know what's like to be hurt, lost and left out in the dark." I told him. Tala stared at me, shocked somewhat.

"But you've got Jemma. How can you feel lost and Hurt?" he inquired. I sighed and closed my homework book. How could I explain that my sister was still alive, but I could never see her again.

"Because of Tanya." I whispered. Tala stared at me in shock again.

"Your sister?" He questioned. I nodded my head. I took a deep breath and stared at my hands. I had already told Jemma how I feel about not knowning where my sister was.

"I know my sister's alive. They never found her body when my mother and father was murdered, so I know deep down she's alive. Jemma even told she's okay. But I don't know where she is. I'm left in the dark and I'm hurt that no-one will tell me. It's like a kick in the gut, you know?" I paused.

Tala stared at the ground, shame written on his face. Sure he knew what it was like to be beaten for everything little flaw, but he didn't know the pain I felt deep down. He doesn't have a family member that might be alive. He suddenly got up.

"I've got to go. Tons of homework to do." he stated. I could tell he was lying, but I didn't say anything. I just nodded my head and turned back to my math's work. My bedroom door was shut quietly and I was left alone with my thoughts again.

_Tanya...where the hell are you?_ I whispered bitterly in my head.


	15. Wounded

_'So help me heal these wounds,  
They've been open for way too long.  
Help me fill this soul,  
Even though this is not your fault,  
That I'm open,  
And I'm bleeding  
All over your brand new rug.  
And I need someone to help me sew them up.'  
_**Good Charlotte: Wounded**

Grandfather came home earlier then we all thought. He had managed to seal another business deal.

Those poor fools. They have no idea what he's got in store for them.

I was slightly worried that grandfather would find out about my little stunt. Alfred assured me none of the staff were going to say a thing. Bryan and Ian had forgotten all about it, (Staring at endless girls will do that to them) and Spencer didn't know anything. However, I guess I forgot about a certain bitter red head.

No sooner had Grandfather stepped through the door, Tala told him everything. Grandfather roared and ranted as I glared at the red head. Tala only smirked back, his way of getting revenge. Before anyone could stop me, I pounced on Tala. I swear I felt like killing him!

We rolled along the floor of the large hall, as Ian and Bryan jeered us on. By the time Grandfather's lackey, Boris had pulled us apart, Tala was in a worst state then me. "In your room now! I shall deal with you later!" Grandfather commanded. I yanked myself from Boris' grip, before storming towards my room.

* * *

I glanced at myself in the small bathroom mirror I had. Blood was running down from my nose. The cut on my eyebrow had reopened. I liked the look of blood on my face. Sick, I know. Really, the blood seemed to shine out against my pale skin. 

Figuring I need to get out of here, I opened my bedroom window and climbed down the drainpipe. Jumping to the ground, I stumbled back but regained myself. It didn't take me long to find the wall and climb over it. Grandfather was going to kill me, but I wasn't about to let him cause me enough pain as it was.

I mean look at me!

My face is covered in blood, my head still aches and to top it off, I swear to god I brusied my stomach just climbing over a god-damn wall! Relaxe Hiwatari, everything will be find. All I got to do is go to...

I grabbed my phone, which I had placed in my back pocket before hand, and quickly dailed Jemma's number. I know it looks like I'm just using Jemma to get away when things get rough, but really I'm not. You see, Jemma's house is the only place I can feel safe enough to let my guard down.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Jem, it's me Kai. Listen I'm kind of in a bit of trouble." I heard her gasp.

_"Oh god Kai, he didn't do it again? Come straight to my house, I'll fix you up."

* * *

_

Like before, Jemma was alone that night. What was puzzled me was the fact her father's bedroom was locked. Jemma never told me much about him. I told her what happened and why I looked such a mess. Jemma tutted and went to the kitchen. I sat on the floor on Jemma's living room, waiting while she got a few things. I glanced at the rug. 

Strange, I never saw this last time. I guessed it was a bad new rug, although it did look out of place. It was then I noticed I had dripped blood onto it. Oh, great going Hiwatari. By the time Jemma had returned, I couldn't get rid of the blood spot no matter how hard I tried.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, casting my eyes downwards. Jemma dabbed a cold cloth against my eyebrow.

"I beg pardon? For what?" she questioned. I merely pointed to the blood on the rug and chewed my lip. Jemma looked at the blood spot calmly.

"I'm sorry for getting blood on your new rug." I muttered again, not looking her in the eye once. Jemma pulled my head up, so she could look at the wound.

"It's okay, really Kai. I'll explain to my father. He'll understand." she reassured, with that same smile I fell in love with. Jemma placed another cold cloth to my nose, making me wince. She held it in place for a bit, before cleaning up the blood.

Why oh why I kissed her, I haven't the foggest. I justgrabbed her and kissed her so hard. She didn't care if the blood on my lips was transfered to hers. We sat there, on the rug, kissing for what seemed like hours.

What happened next, I cannot say but I'll remember forever and it only seemed to bring the both of us closer together.


	16. sAINT

_'Your Sell-by date expired,  
So you had to be sold,  
I'm a suffer-genius and,  
Vivi-sex symbol!'  
_**Marilyn Manson: (s)AINT**

I left Jemma's house a little later then I would have hoped. After what happened, who can blame me. I was slightly happier, but my mask remained on my face. Thank god it was Saturday today. Jemma had wished me luck on my return home, and said she'd come to see me.

When I got home, I noticed something different. Sure the other four were happily chomping on breakfast, (I already had mine with Jemma) but there seemed to be something out of place. Then it hit me.

Grandfather wasn't up!

I made my way into the kitchen, my hands stuffed in my pockets. "Good morning Master Kai. Sleep well?" Winne, the cook asked. I smiled and nodded my, sitting on the counter. Winne only lets me do it, so I tend to rub salt into the wounds of the other four. "Hungry?" Winne asked.

"No, Thank you though Winne. Where's Grandfather?" I asked, playing with the hem of my shirt. Winne had a certain spark in her eyes, but pretended to be downcasted.

"You're grandfather's ill Master Kai." she replied, before returning to the washing up. Ill? Finally! I let a small _oh_ escape my lips as I looked at the floor.

"What's wrong with him?" I inquired. Tala snorted and I guessed he was still bitter at me. I can't help it.

"He ranted so much at Tala, he almost gave himself a heart-attack." Spencer explained. I glanced at the red head, who pushed his plate away from him. He said nothing as he left, and was quickly followed by Bryan and Ian. Winne tutted and collected the plates.

"It's a shame. All this, just before the ball." Spencer shrugged taking his time with his breakfast. Had I heard right? Grandfather was holding a ball? Highly out of his character.

"A ball? For what?" I asked, hopping from the counter and joining Spencer at the table. The blond brute merely chuckled at me. I knew he had figured out where I was this morning.

"Master Voltaire is handing the company to Boris. Your grandfather figured he was too old to carry on the company." he began to explain. I held up my hand.

"Whoa, whao! Too old? He's in his 60's." I studdered. Spencer shook his head, pushing his plate away and thanking Winne.

"He's 71. Plus his doctor has told him he has a weak heart. Enough stress could cause him to have a heart-attack. Anyway, back to this ball. Master Voltaire has insisted us four have dates. I doubt you'll have trouble finding one for tonight." Spencer smirked, winking.

I blushed slightly, but sneered back at my blond friend. "Very cute Spencer." I joked, before Alfred appeared at the kitchen door.

"Master Kai, good to see you. Master Voltaire requestes your pressence in his bedroom." He informed. I sighed and got up.

"The dragon calls." I chuckled, cuasing both Spencer and Winne to laugh and Alfed to smile.

* * *

The curtains in grandfather's room were closed. I stood by the door, as Boris told grandfather I was here. "Boy, get in here!" 

Still commanding as usal.

I rolled my eyes and walked into the room. I stopped just a few centremetres from the bed, my hands once again in my pockets. "You are my sole heri and you will have to run this company. However, due to recent behaviour you have shown, I can not let you have the company yet." Grandfather paused.

"So you're letting him run it for now?" I asked. Boris glared at me, but I glared right back. Grandfather nodded his head.

"I trust Boris greatly and you should too!" Grandfather barked, before coughing violently. I shrugged and walked towards the door.

"Looks like your _sell-by date_ expired." I chuckled, before returning to the kitchen.

* * *

I picked the white phone up and dailed a number. It only rang twice before Jemma picked up, which ment she was waiting for me to ring. 

_"Kai! Are you okay?"_ she inquired quickly. I chuckled to myself.

"I'm fine Jem. Listen, my grandfather is holding a party type thing and I was wondering..." I trailed off. Jemma giggled.

_"You asking me to join you Mr Hiwatari?"_ I blushed a deeper red. Thank god no-one was there. I coughed to regain myself.

"Yes, because my grandfather insistes we have dates. The party's on tonight if you can make it." I added. Jemma squeaked in excitment.

_"Of course I can make it. I asked my father to drop me off."_ she replied. As we both said our good-byes and hung up, I smiled a little. I would finally be able to see what Jemma's father looks like.

Then I began to think about the recent events. I'm a suffering genuis. Really, I am.


	17. There's a good reason

_'Please leave all overcoats, canes and tophats with the doorman,  
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed.  
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it,  
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...'  
_**Panic! At The Disco: There's a good reason these tables are numbered Honey, You just haven't thought of it yet. **

I hate suits.

Really I do. You're wondering why us four boys need dates for this ball, right? Well this high-profile man is coming with his daughther. Grandfather hates this bloke, but doesn't want to appear rude. He doesn't want this girl latching onto one of us, so he wants us all to find dates.

Wasn't hard for me, Spencer and Tala. Everyone girl wants Tala, and girls just feel safe round Spencer. I've got Jemma, I don't need anyone else.

After sorting out my tie once more, I made my way downstairs. The ball was already in full swing by the time I reached the last step. Alfred was taking overcoats, canes and tophats before placing them in a large cuboard we had. I sat in the corner of the hall, watching the door closely.

"Nice to see looking presentable for once."

That voice. Oh god, tell me it's not who I think it is. My eyes darted to the right, only to see Ming-Ming. So her father's the high-profile man. No wonder grandfather doesn't want her to latch onto us. "What do you want?" I hissed, glancing back at the front door.

"Papa wanted to come and wish Boris good look. He's really sad to hear about your grandfather." Ming-Ming giggled. I glared at her.

"Like hell he does. He only wants the company for himself." I shot back. Okay so I hate grandfather, but the comapny is a family business. No asshole is gonna take over it.

_"May I take your coat miss?"_

I glanced at the door and smiled widely. There stood Jemma, peeling off a heavy dinner jacket like coat. A man stood behind her and I could only guess it was her father. He had short dark blue hair, and dark purple eyes. Kind of towering man but he looked like he wouldn't hurt a fly.

The dress Jemma wour was amazing. She was like this black ballerina. Alfred gracefully took the coat and set off the cupboard. I made my way. "Glad to see you Jemma." I smiled. Jemma squeaked and hugged me.

"Oh, Daddy I want you to met Kai. Kai, this is my dad." she informed. I shook her father's hand, which was large then my own. He spared a smile, before whispering something in Jemma's ear. She nodded her head, and he was gone into the night.

Strange guy.

* * *

Me and Jemma sat in the corner, talking about random things. She had already ruined the party in grandfather's eyes, no sooner had he seen her.

"So, how do you see the world now?"

The question was sudden to say the least. I stared at Jemma while she took a sip of her drink. "Why are you asking that?" I inquired. Jemma placed the glass on the floor and turned to face me fully.

"Kai, I have a lot of explaining to do, but you need to answer that question. How do you see the world now?" she asked again. I thought about the answer.

"Beautiful to me, but things can be ugly for others." I answered truthfully. A wide smile broke onto Jemma's face, before she got up. "Where you going?" I asked, confused by her actions.

"Wait here." she instructed and disappeared, slipping through the other bodies. I waited for a bit, wondering what had gotten into her. Jemma came back, holding a bundle of roses. "Come on. We've got to go somewhere." she stated, leding me away from the party.

* * *

Outside, the air was cold.

I shivered a little, but it didn't seem to effect Jemma. She clutched the roses tightly, as she led me through winding streets. We finally came to a stop at the Grave Yard. Wordless we slipped through, watching out for gravestones. Then Jemma stopped a three gravestones.

I could see my parent's names engraved on, and Jemma lay a rose on both. When we turned to the third grave, I had the shock of my life.

"No! It's some sort of joke! It can't be!" I yelled. Jemma wordlessly placed a rose on the grave and turned to me, tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry Kai, but I had to show you. I have to explain everything to you." she whispered. I dropped to my knees.

It was some twisted joke. It had to have been. But it wasn't.


	18. Roses for the dead

_'Wasting the hours now,  
We're all suckers for tragedies,  
and start this over again,  
And you bring us to our knees.'  
_**Funeral for a friend: Roses for the dead**

"Why didn't you tell me she was dead?"

It came out more of a hiss, but I put it down to me being upset. Jemma still clutched the roses. "Tanya didn't want me to. I wish I could Kai, I swear it. I didn't want to see you hurt." she cried. I stared numbly at the gravestone.

**Here lies Tanya Lorraine Hiwatari.  
Loving Daughter, friend and sister.   
We shall missed you more each passing day.**

Tanya was...dead. All those times I made myself believe she was alive were all in vain. How could Tanya contact Jemma? Who was Jemma anyway? Nothing made sense anymore. "How could she contact you?" I inquired, my eyes never leaving the gravestone.

"It's hard to explain. She just came to me, told me to say she's okay and you shouldn't worry about her. She's happier now Kai." Jemma replied. I sighed shakly, feeling tears well up again.

"Did she tell you were her body was?" I inquired. I had to know. Jemma's darted from me to the gravestone, shaking her head at something

"You can't make me tell him! You just can't!" She screamed. I glanced over the gravestone to see my dear sweet sister. Tanya kept nodding her head, as if to order my girlfriend to tell her. Finally Jemma agreed. "They found her body at an old cabin somwhere in russia. Tanya says it was Boris who killed her."

I froze. Boris? Grandfather's right hand man and future ownerof **Biovolt**? I turned away from Tanya's grave and threw up. Jemma began to sob again.

"It was staged Kai! Your grandfather wanted the family out the pitcure, but when Boris and his friends murdered your family, you weren't there. You're grandfather threw a fit, but acted as though it was a tragedy. Kai, you have to understand. Voltaire wanted you all out of the picture. He planned the murder." Jemma explained.

I knew the robbery seemed out of place. Nothing ever bad happened in my old street. We weren't that rich, someone had way more then us. The thoughts kept turning in my head. Why us? Why were we robbed? I turned to look at Jemma.

"But why has my grandfather allowed me to stay in the same house of him?" I questioned. Jemma glanced at Tanya, who mouthed a few words. I couldn't make out what she was saying. Jemma nodded her head a few times, then turned to look at me.

"Voltaire wants to kill you, to make sure the job is done. He wants you out of his life for good." she whispered. Suddenly Jemma pulled something shiny out of her pocket and handed it to me. "Tanya wanted me to give you this." jemma whispered.

It was Tanya's favourtie necklace. I looked at it for some time, before I watched Jemma walk to the back of the grave yard. Slipping the necklace in my pocket, I followed her. When she stopped, Jemma split the last four roses, placing two on the first grave and two on the second I read the grave stones.

**Here lies Sean William Scott.  
Loving son, Husband and father.  
You never lived with your regrets.**

It was the second grave stone that took me by surprise.

**Here lies Jemma Aeris Scott.  
Loving daughter.  
The blue-haired angel that was the light of our life.**

I had to do a double take. It couldn't be! No, she was real!

When I searched for any trace of her, Jemma was gone.


	19. Skylines and Turnstiles

_'This broken city sky like butane on my skin,  
and stole from my eyes,  
Hello Angel tell me where are you?  
Tell me where we go from here?'  
_**My Chemical romance: Skylines and Turnstiles**

It started to rain as I stared at Jemma's grave. How was it possible? How could she been dead? As I pondered new questiones that ran through my head, I swear I could hear her voice.

_"I'll tell you how it happened, if you let me."_

What choice did I have? It would finally end the never-ending questions I have. I noded my head, and closed my eyes.

_"My mother, as you know had emotional problems. She came home drunk one day and started sshouting and screaming. I cannot tell you what about for I can not remember. As you recall, I told you how my mother stabbed my father in the chest four times. On the fourth hit, she stabbed him through the heart. Before I could do anything, My mother stabbed me in the neck and watched me bleed to death."_

I started to cry. The rain was getting worst, mixing in with my tears. "How did you appear before everyone?" I questioned. Everyone saw her, Tala, Emily, Grandfather.

_"Higher powers Kai. They made it possible. It was Tanya who asked them herself to let me go down to you. To show you that everything little thing you do will effect things on a large scale. That the world is a beautiful place to live in. Tanya felt you had forgotten how you use to live."_

I wiped my tears away and stood up. I blew a kiss towards Jemma's grave, making a promise to never forget her. As I passed my family, I each blew them a kiss. I then ran back to the mannor, as the party continued on.

* * *

Tala was pretty surprised to see me with Jemma, and soaked through to boot. "Kai? Where the hell have you been? Scratch that, where's Jemma?" he asked. I roughly pushed pass him, looking for my target. 

"What's up with him?" Tala's date asked. The red head shrugged. I found Boris laughing merrily and drinking. I growled under my breath and stormed over to him.

"Kai! You look a fright. Nevermind, I would..."

**-SMACK!-**

Okay I admit, I lost control. Would you have done the same? The party went quiet, the music stopped. It was like some movie. "Kai, what the devil has gotten into you?" Boris demanded, checking his nose.

"You killed her." I hissed lowly. Boris stared at me somewhat confused.

"I'm sorry Kai, but I have no idea what you're talking about." He replied. As Boris tried to stand up, I slammed my foot into his stomach. Spencer pushed his way through.

"Don't play coy with me! You murdered her! You murdered my sister!" I screamed. I would have hit him again, if Spencer hadn't held me back. "You murdered my whole family! Why?" I yelled, as Alfred wheeled grandfather into the room.

"Kai, what is the meaning of this?" he inquried, clearly enraged by my actions. I turned to face him, struggling against Spencer's tight grip. Never noticed how tough he could be.

"You had Boris kill them. Don't think I know, I worked it out. Was my father an embrassment to the Hiwatari name? Could you stand the fact he had a perfect life, with a perfect wife and two perfect children? Why have them murdered, tell me god-damnit!" I hissed. Voltaire narrowed his eyes.

"Get to your room now boy!" He threatened. Spencer let me go, and I stalked off. As I disappeared upstairs, the noise and music grew again.

* * *

I slammed my bedroom door, and locked it from the inside. How could he do that? How could he have his own family murdered? I glanced at my self in the small mirror, seeing little bits of my family. I grabbed the nearest thing, which was my english book and threw it at the mirror. 

It shattered loudly, but I had yet to get rid of my anger. I completely destoryed my room. Everything had been turned over, from the bed to my chest of drawers. When that task had been complete, I grabbed a red marker and found a spot on the wall not covered by my drawings.

**I hate him,  
I hate him,  
I hate him,  
I HATE HIM!**

I numbly dropped the pen and fell to the floor. I hated everything about this place, but it had become my prison. At least I knew what had happened to my family, and I met a girl who was willing to see passed the cold mask I had worked so hard to keep on.


	20. Vermilion part 2

'_She is everything to me,  
the unrequited dream.  
A song that no one sings,  
the unattainable.  
She's a myth that I have to believe in,  
all I need to make it real is one more reason.'  
_**Slipknot: Vermilion part 2**

If you would believe it, everything seemed to reverse. I found myself sitting in my English class, waiting for Miss Morice.

She finally waltzed in, eyeing everyone before sitting herself at the edge of the desk. "Open your books to page 12." She called. I did so, without any feelings. I knew what verse she would be reading, so I began to draw in the back of my English class.

"It was as though this plan had been with him all his life, pondered through the seasons, now in his fifteenth year crystallized with the pain of puberty."

I stopped listening to everything, hearing Tyson say _you suck_ in Hillary's ear when she got it wrong. The giggling in the class stopped as Miss Morice turned her attention to me. "Kai? Being as you usually have the correct answers, let us hear your opinion." She smiled.

"Well destruction and creation are like to sides of a coin. To destroy something, you create something new from the ashes. Destruction and creation can not survive without each other. The children wanted to destroy an older generation to make way for the new one." I answered, chocking back a sob that threatened to spill forward.

"Once again Kai, very good." Miss Morice stated, before writing it on the board. I turned back to my drawing.

* * *

As I made my way to the willow tree, I waited for her to call after me. I waited just to hear her voice and the sound of her black shoes tapping on the floor.

It didn't come.

Instead, I sat under the tree alone like before. Everyone had no memory of the girl with the ocean coloured hair and eyes that could search your soul.

I continued to draw a picture of her, riding on the back of Dranzer. See, I can't bear to say her name, it hurts so much.

I know she will be safe in the knowledge that she hadn't failed. I saw life in a different way which seemed to worry the other four. I started to colour her hair, in the most perfect blue I had.

"Still sitting here all alone?"

I glanced up to see Tala. We regarded each other for sometime. "Mind if I join you?" Tala asked suddenly. I guess I could do with one friend. Heck, it could change something on a bigger scale.

"Sure." I mumbled, scooting to the right. Tala sat next to me and glanced at my picture.

"That's good. Who is it?" he asked. The first time he had said my pictures were good. I still could have cried. I held it in, and glanced back at her.

"Just someone I saw in my dreams, that's all." I answered. Tala nodded his head and watched two younger boy play kick about. I smiled a little at the picture.

And I swear to god she smiled back.


End file.
